Matador

Refraining from internal monitoring could resemble the dance between Matador and bull. Internal monitoring and thoughts are the bull. The red cape is the sticky stuff of shenpa teasing the bull into action. The matador is the loving self gently and smoothy stepping aside with out getting gored watching the thoughts arise and fall. And the arena becomes the reminder to always remember to keep the space. One is not pinned in the corner by thoughts.

I've heard the true matadors fall in love with the bull.

Interesting play on word.

Awareness vs Mind/Thought

This last two months has been a resurgence of what some might say is my mental illness. Triggered by the event of John telling me he had a message for me from a spirit (read past posts starting January 28 with Where to Begin) I have come around without major fallout (no hospital, or self-mutilation). I have been laying low. Not much reading. Meditation has been only on the breath. I am noticing the space as much as possible. A tool that works really well in calming my brain. Instead of noticing the tree, the house, the person - all objects of sight, I notice the space between everything (when it is snowing it is easy to see the space). It is here I find peace and quiet in the mind. Mind and Awareness are separate. Mind/Thought is of objects and Awareness is of space.