Thoughts & Lessons

During this mornings green meditation, I discovered how yesterday's thoughts turned into today's lessons. The important point really is that it is the feelings that need to be delved into as opposed to the thought concept. Not really sure exactly how to talk about this since it is a raw concept for me right now.

So in Lewis Richmond's blog yesterday, Aging As A Spiritual Practice, I came away with the term "true nature". Usually it is heard as Buddha nature. It struck me though literally as outdoor nature. Specifically the forest. My mind kept coming back to a high Sierra fir stand on the side of a mountain. I could picture the stand quite literally. Despite the elements, despite man, despite the animals and bugs, the stand just stands there in true nature (representing nature), not apparently doing anything but living. They aren't nice or mean, good or bad, right or wrong. All concepts that are constructs of my mind on what "true nature" is and isn't. The stand just is. This morning I realized there was a feeling associated with this thought/realization. It wasn't the concept that needed to be tossed and contemplated but the feeling.

Last night while passing through the room, I caught a portion of Anderson Cooper 360 story. The portion I watched was a commentary between Anderson and Martin Sheen (who helps financially support the gang project) talking about Father Gregory Boyle, a Catholic priest who some had said early on in the Gang Project had been taken advantage of buy some of the gang members. Anderson posed this question to Father Boyle who responded that he was in position to be able to "give advantage". Mr. Sheen followed up by saying he is able to give the Gang member unconditional love and today they know and feel that from Father Boyle. Again it wasn't the new twist in giving advantage as opposed to taking advantage but the feeling that arose from it.

And finally, this mornings dream session was quite vivid and full. But during my experimenting with the "green zone" (not fully awake but conscious while sleeping) the voice came through load and clear that dreaming is not about remembering the details so I can later analyze and dissect them for their symbolism and meaning but instead to meditate on the feelings that arise from the dreams themselves. Concentrate on the joy or frustration or what ever visceral feeling is present in the green zone and early morning hours. For me this is where the study, work and practice will be focused for a while.

Gentle Perspective

Get up and sit.
Oh just a bit longer. Sleep feels good.
Get up and sit.
Okay just a minute.
Get up and sit.
I'm so lazy! I rather sleep than sit. I'm pathetic.
Ah my child you're not lazy you just can't see where sitting will take you. How can you expect yourself to want to do something if you don't really know what you will gain from it.
Thank you for being so gentle.
You're welcome. Now get up and sit.
Okay.

Why

There is no Question

There just Is

Letting Go

Heaven may close my eyes

so I need to build my bridges.

And the other voice said,

"Then let go."

Helen Reddy

In the eighth grade, unlike the other kids who were into Led Zepllin, Elton John and the Bee Gees, my idols were Neil Diamond and Helen Reddy. I loved them. Secretly, I loved Helen Reddy more. My two favorite songs, ironically, Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show and I Am Woman. Kind of where I am today torn between the Christ and the Buddhanature. Where did this memory come from? I awoke this morning and these lines were streaming in my head:

Oh yes, I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

~Helen Reddy